BLOGS WITH LARA
I was sharing with a friend today that whilst I work to help enrich people’s lives it’s not always an easy gig, as often to get to the good parts we have to go through the uncomfortable parts.
And being the messenger of this is not always easy; to feel peoples resistance, to have it be directed at you, to be ‘blamed’ for another’s discomfort.
I sometimes have to remind myself that it takes the brave hearted to show up and do the work. I know, as this was once my journey.
I recall many times I would ask for feedback to improve myself, see a mentor/counsellor to have behaviours named, or at times receive unsolicited comments from others that triggered me... and I’d often get defensive, or feel wounded, or blame what they said or how they said it on them and not be able to take it on myself.
What I have come to learn is this - words spoken that rattle us can only rattle us if it is in some way true.
And the only way we step into being our best self, to play our ‘A Game’ is to be made aware of what is holding us back. Not always easy, but ultimately what sets us free!
I’ve probably been triggered 1000’s of times in my life. And probably blamed others as many times too.
It’s somehow easier to look externally as it stops us from being with our own sense of inadequacies or feeling what we want to avoid feeling.
The challenge with living through blaming others is we never really get the gift or lessons that are presenting, to then live with gained wisdom.
It may mean we have to change within, it may mean we need to set more boundaries, it may mean learning to let go of old stories. Regardless, true power comes when we take ownership, clean up our triggers and walk through the door to freedom.
Firstly what is a trigger, just to make things clear. A trigger response is when we react to what has been said or done, be it an internally or external reaction.
So here they are:
1. Know you always have a choice - you ARE a powerhouse creator.
2. When we react we are giving our power away - make the choice to not give your power away to another person or situation... 'cause who wants to do that!!
3. If we delve into the cause of reactions it is generally something that goes behind the current moment that causes the trigger, in other words, the person or event that has triggered us is often nothing more than the 'catalyst' for change... Don't take it personally!
4. Take ownership of your reactions - it's the only way the door to freedom opens.
5. Embrace a quote or mantra that brings you to a new possibility... one I love for this space; 'It's 10% of what happens, and 90% of how I CHOOSE to respond. And lastly... remember... Wise choices always SHINE!
Author, Lara Wilson
Lara is an educator of transformation and change maker that not only provides the polish for you to shine; she also shines the light on the unspoken topics that we need to start talking about. Her unique style invites us to courageously invite change, disrupt status quo and reveal what is hidden to create profound revelations that enrich all aspect of our lives.
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